Hallo, and welcome to The Reverend Jen's Lower East Side Troll Museum!

I am Saint Reverend Jen, head curator of the museum, trollologist, Patron Saint of the Uncool and Voice of the Downtrodden and Tired.

If you're like me, you know trolls, and you might be shaking your head, thinking, "This really isn't the most impressive troll collection I've ever seen." Well, you know what? You're right! I don'thave the largest, the most extensive, or even the most "valuable" troll collection in the world, assuming you judge "value" by how much these trolls would fetch on eBay.

However, we here at the Troll Museum, judge the value of our collection not by dollar signs, but by spiritual significance. The amount of smiles these trolls have mustered out of me on even the most dismal afternoons, is worth more than could be expressed in terms of capital. They are my muse, inspiring me, when all I see is darkness and oppression.

In short, I would sell my very flesh before I would part with these wide-eyed talismans.

Many of these trolls were given to me by loved ones, and each troll that was a "gift" is imbued with the spirit of the giver, and is a gentle reminder of the strong community of art stars we have on the Lower East Side.

We call it the Troll "Museum" but it could just as easily be called the Troll "Temple." Trolls do more than liven up our curio cabinets. They offer "hope" and "good luck" in a world where magic seems like a thing of the past. Their proud, sexless bodies offer themselves unto us for rubbing and wishing, and all the while, they charm us with a mischievous smile. If one were to liken the world of toys to the world of art, it might be said that the troll is the toy collector's Mona Lisa. No toy is more enigmatic. No toy is more directly linked to our pagan past. And, while Barbie may cause young girls to develop eating disorders, and G.I. Joe may cause young boys to develop identity problems, trolls are benign. The only thing trolls are guilty of causing, is a desire for MORE TROLLS.

No toy has endured trends better than the troll. While the rubix cube, the pet rock and hula- hoop are collecting dust, the troll lives on, constantly changing its identity and outfits to appease an increasingly fickle toy-buyer market. The many varieties of available trolls is almost too vast to be studied. Russ toys alone has over 700 types of trolls!

You see, there is no way we here at the Museum could attempt to cover every facet of Trollology, but we can pay homage to these fine creatures.

Yes, the troll market has had it's ups and downs. And, while the Summer of Love and 1994 (the year Russ launched its now infamous "Russ Troll for President Campaign") were both stellar years for the troll doll market, I predict that the troll doll's greatest success is yet to come. I believe that the Golden Age of Troll, is close at hand. Perhaps, this Museum is a first step in the Dawning of the Age of Troll.

 

We hope you enjoy your stay.